Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Highest Commitment

Should be yourself. Sound selfish? Egocentric? It's not. If you focused on everything you want to be and do  imagine for a moment how that ripple effect would go.

Sure, there are outside forces that combat us on a daily basis- most pertaining to the first tier of Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs for instance; (which I don't necessarily agree with, I often question what would happen if we could achieve it backwards somehow, as I think I've witnessed it on occasion). But regardless, if we make ourselves the highest commitment in our life, we are in turn making just that- THE highest commitment. To commit to taking care of our own selves and our own happiness, is the ultimate love. In loving yourself, you are loving to those around you. In accessing your purpose and needs- from physiological all the way to self-actualization, you are creating a space in which other people can grow.

You know when people say "she has commitment issues". Sure, of course. Most of us do. If you haven't committed to yourself, how can you ever possibly commit to another person? If your goals, desires, happiness aren't in line, you can never expect someone else to fill in the blanks for you. This is when enmeshment happens. When you don't know where you end and the other begins- and this goes for all types of relationships- friendships, lovers, work, family, even your relationship with substances.

I've watched myself through an outer lens lately- witnessing what happens when you commit to yourself. I recently accepted that I had been doing things for every person in my life except for myself, which oddly enough is a much more selfish act (as you are giving when you are not full, which in turn leads to a subconscious expectation for return) than when you make yourself first. I decided to sit down and commit to all the things I have wanted to finish in this life, and the results have been amazing. The universe may guide us, but it is not the guide. The universe has the map, but we essentially have the keys to this vehicle.

Please don't mistake me, I don't mean to never do for others, or even to not be selfless-just that in order to give genuinely, to be genuinely selfless, you have to have your own personal reserve full. So I challenge you to start with just one commitment, one way more important than a New Years Resolution. One that you will truly commit to for yourself. Because you are important. Because without you things would be different. Because if we all did this, I believe it is the only way to make true change.